Jan 4th: Think Before You Speak

This entry is a bit of a long, gloomy rant so you might want to skip over this one...

A bit of back story:
Now, my town isn't small (pop ~30,000), but it's in the book of World Records for the most people marrying and moving back to their hometown. Hence, we have a LOT of "townies" and many of the families in town go way back. It's not unusual for everyone to know everyone even though the town isn't exactly small. And unfortunately, I can't go ANYWHERE in town without being recognized. I come home and five different people have already called my parents, telling them where they saw me and when. UGH! This happens especially because I come from a prominent townie family (I happen to be a 5th generation myself). My grandfathers were the chief of police and the sergeant, my dad is currently the head lieutenant, and a large number of my aunts, uncles, and cousins are also cops. It's not like being a celebrity or anything (although it sometimes feels like what it must be like to be the first family). Life is completely normal - to a point. If tragedy strikes, everyone's eyes are on you. And they already know all about you, as if they flipped open an issue of People. They know your complete life history back to the day you were born. They know you were a citizen of the month in junior high, or was a football star in high school. They know your family owned the bakery on the corner for generations, or that your grandfather, who had run out of ammo, chased and stopped an armed thief in a shootout after a car chase from the bank (phew! That last one is true!). There is no privacy for townies in my town. Especially when it comes to bad news.

I've had personal experience with this issue. There wasn't any privacy when my uncle was brought home from Vietnam. There's a horrible photo of my dad, his parents, and his eight other siblings grieving that was put on the front page of the newspaper. It was kind of unavoidable, as that grandfather of mine was the chief, and it somehow became the whole town's business. History repeated itself when I was 14. Another of my uncles had died. Because of the manner in which he passed, and the fact that he was a police officer, it was made public and was slapped on the front page of the Boston Globe the next day. I was pulled out of school immediately and had to be escorted away from reporters that actually showed up to try to interview a bewildered little kid.

Now, today was a bit of a rough day. A friend of the family (and one of a very well known townie family, at that) died of a heart attack this morning while on vacation with his family in the mountains. Our families are very close and I grew up with his niece, who is one of the nicest people I've ever met. My parents and their siblings have been friends with him and his siblings since they were all in their early teens. It was horrible to see them so upset and shocked. He was only in his early fifties. But, here's the sad truth, and the point of my story: My family got the call through the grapevine, before his own mother and family at home were told that he had passed. That's what bothers me. I understand that people gossip. I do it myself. But what I mean is, everyone is already talking about what has happened without showing this family the proper respect they deserve. I hope they can find peace in what must be a devastating time for them (they just buried his father not too long ago). Please, keep him and his family in your thoughts and prayers. I know I will.